| I am a HOUSE!
I am a woman. And like you, I've
been blessed with the gift of owning my body (or renting one, at least, for those who have
not ruled out the notion of reincarnation .) Yet in the 27 years that I've lived 'here' I
have to admit that I've been quite a difficult tennent. I guess you could say that Martha
Stewart has not been part of the picture.
I can vividly remember the day I
decided to go on my first diet, or renovation if you will. I was 14 years old and
unbeknownst to the dangers of florescent lighting, I discovered my rippled teenage thighs
staring back at me in the change-room mirror. Looking back now I shudder at the power that
that one image left on my entire being, especially when you consider that I was, maybe,
115 lbs. I had already been blinded by the insidious need to be flawless.
So it began, an entire body
demolition which had really only required a little dusting and fresh paint. Totally
commited to my home, I dedicated every spare moment counting calories and exercising,
missing out on many of the experiences that never return to a 14 year-old girl. It was
often lonely in my house but the obsession with my body was too strong, making me feel
imprisoned by the constant preoccupation of body control. The neighborhood of friends
surrounding me faced similar isolation. My best girlfriend desperately defended her size
and terrible eating habits stating that, "bouncing in aerobics stunted growth",
and,"girls that just order salads don't get asked out". Meanwhile, she
constantly claimed to be sick or injured for gym class, avoided school dances and would
only eat junk food secretly, hiding the packages from her older, slimmer sister who
referred to her as "chunky monkey";an endearing nickname to instill confidence
and sisterly support. So none of our homes were really safe from some sort of storm or
typhoon which was constantly pounding against our fragile self-esteem.
Time goes on, I move out of the
'neighborhood' of high school friendships, and start inviting the opposite sex into my
'home'. I finally feel the acceptance and love for me AND my body through the eyes of
another! "I have decorated perfectly, my house is now his house",
a comforting, warm belief until I learn the hard way that many 20-ish males are quite
happy with any decor, in any house, and with as many houses as
physically possible. I had just been flattened by Hurricane Hugo. I fell apart. Where was
my foundation?
A couple of years pass and many
'home improvement' and 'fix-it' books later, I find myself atop a glacier peak,
overlooking an astonishing view while enjoying a weekend hiking trip. Overly confident on
the decline I lose control, my feet moving me so quickly down the steep rock face that my
only salvation from the impending cliff was to sacrifice my body to the jagged teeth of
the land. Tumbling, punchured and ripped open, I stopped. I had only one
thought:"Thank God! I'm ALIVE," and the rest, I felt at this point, were merely
details (please don't try this at home). It was in that instant, bloody and bruised, that
I finally found my foundation. It was so beautifully clear, waiting to be rediscovered.
For one unforgettable moment I was truly grateful for the value and beauty of MY life, MY
body, MY home.
So as I stand here now with so
many wonderful and painful memories living in this house, I feel a deep respect for the
gift that I have been given; my body. How I take care of it is my gift to the giver. This
is why I choose health. I try to eat foods that make me feel strong, to go running
even if it is raining , to laugh at myself, and to get a good nights' sleep when my body
craves it. I have my hard days, as we all do, but I have one hard-earned truth that I
challenge you to act on: honor your body and you will rediscover your foundation, your
spirit. Appreciate your physical body, feed your mind with empowering thoughts and your
spirit will give you the invaluable ability to withstand the storm. Love your body right
this moment, it's nothing short of a miracle. Give it the best gift that you can, empower
your life and cement your foundation daily with love.
We are only as strong as we
believe our foundation to be.
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